Why Do We Get Anxious? 10 Root Causes of Anxiety Explained

Ever find yourself asking 'why am I anxious?'.

Anxiety might feel random and unexplainable at times - but it isn’t. It's your nervous system firing off to protect you.

Sometimes the threat is real, sometimes it isn't - and other times it's a bit of both.

Threats can be external - like a car failing to brake as you're halfway over a pedestrian crossing. Other times they're internal - like a difficult emotion or uncomfortable memory. Whatever the source, your brain will still use anxiety to get your attention.

Here are 10 key areas which can cause, or contribute to, your anxiety:

1 Your Survival System - Biological and Evolutionary Roots

Anxiety is a survival mechanism. It's our alarm system. And it's survived evolution because it's effective in letting us know when we might be unsafe so we can take action i.e. fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.

In the animal kingdom, timid fish are more likely to survive predators than the more confident ones. In humans, anxious people are statistically less likely to die in accidents. It's safer to jump-scare when you see a coiled hose than walk by nonchalantly and be bitten by a venomous snake. Cautious means survival.

Our anxiety response is driven by the amygdala - the brain’s alarm system. It works below the radar of conscious thought. This is why you might react unintentionally to a slightly raised voice or change in tone. We're even 'activated' by bad tastes and smells. (Black Plague, anyone?).

The problem is: our alarm system hasn't been updated for modern-day living. Running from a job interview doesn't reduce its threat. And you won't get far trying to punch a snarky email (except maybe a rollocking from your IT manager).

Animals tend to run or (literally) shake off the charge after a threatening encounter. Humans don't. We often freeze, ruminate, or suppress in some way. Thus the 'survival energy' can get stuck, unable to discharge - and show up as anxiety.

2 Temperament and Trait Anxiety (Biology)

Some people are just more biologically wired for anxiety. Genetics and temperament both play a role:

• Genetics: anxiety disorders are estimated to be 30-40% heritable

• Personality: people high in Neuroticism (a Big Five personality trait) are more prone to chronic worry, fear, and reactivity

• Sensitive or shy children often become adults with more reactive nervous systems

• Epigenetic changes have been found to play a role in development and heritability of anxiety-and-stress disorders

Epigenetics is the mechanism whereby certain genes perform differently according to the environment. These changes can become permanent and passed along to offspring. For example, both early separation from a person's mother, and maternal abuse, can lower stress resilience in their children and later generations.

None of this means you're doomed to a life of chronic anxiety. Some people just need more support managing their internal world in certain contexts because their system is more sensitive to stimulus and change.

Genetics may set starting course, but environment and experience steer the ship. And therapy, education, and insight can help with the map reading.

3 Early Life and Attachment Wounds

Anxiety often begins in childhood. Especially when the child feels 'emotionally unsafe'.

Childhood trauma can affect brain development, changing the systems involved in detecting threats and regulating emotions. Unsurprisingly, children who suffer abuse - physically, emotionally, or sexually - are more likely to develop anxiety issues. As are children who witness domestic abuse.

But early life experiences don't have to be abusive or obviously traumatic to instil a lack of safety - and hence lay the foundations for anxiety issues.

The following is a list of caregiver (parenting) behaviours which can increase the risk of anxiety in a person:

• Rejection, lack of warmth, and poor attachment i.e. not being loving and understanding, not giving physical touch, not soothing when upset

• High hostility i.e. treating children like an enemy or inconvenience

• Harsh discipline e.g. the 'drill sergeant dad' or 'nothing's ever good enough for mum'

• Parents with lots of negative emotion e.g. depressed mum, angry dad

• Anxious childrearing i.e. overprotectiveness or 'helicopter parenting'

• Dysfunctional or drug-using behaviour i.e. inconsistent in giving attention and meeting needs

• Discouraging emotions e.g. never talking about feelings, insisting on 'stiff upper lip'

• Poor socialisation i.e. not allowing children to play with others

If your parents or caregivers regularly did any of these, you may have learnt the world is always a dangerous place, or people can't be trusted.

So, paradoxically, you may find positive states like calmness and emotional warmth actually feel like the real threat.

4 Medical and Physical Causes of Anxiety

Health conditions can sometimes either trigger, or mimic, anxiety.

Here are some examples of some anxiety-mimicking conditions:

• Hyper- and Hypothyroidism i.e. too little or too much of the hormone thyroxine

• Hyperprolactinemia i.e. high blood levels of the hormone prolactin

• Metabolic disorders e.g. diabetes

• Vitamin deficiencies e.g. Vitamin D, B2, B12, Folic Acid (B9)

• Anaemia i.e. low iron

• Gastrointestinal issues e.g. celiac disease and NCGS (gluten intolerance), inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) such as Crohn's and Ulcerative Colitis

• Neurological conditions e.g. Parkinson's, dementia, Multiple Sclerosis (MS), Huntingdon's

• Heart or lung issues e.g. asthma, arrhythmias, heart disease

• Stroke or mini-stroke (TIA)

Other times, anxiety can be a result of the emotions brought about by a condition. Such as a fear of death, or embarrassment/shame or a fear of judgement about the condition or its symptoms.

Examples of these conditions include:

• Life-threatening illnesses e.g. cancer

• Sexual dysfunction e.g. impotence

• Face and skin conditions e.g. acne, psoriasis

• Developmental disabilities e.g. difficulty with motor co-ordination

• Where breathing is affected e.g. asthma, COPD

• Abdominal and chest pain e.g. health anxiety

If your anxiety feels sudden, uncharacteristic, intense, or doesn't respond to regular strategies or interventions - it’s definitely worth checking with your GP for physical causes.

5 Alcohol, Substances (Drugs) and Withdrawal

When it comes to anxiety, the problem with drugs and alcohol is that they work. But usually only in the short-term. In the long-run, they actually make anxiety worse.

Here are some examples of substances which can cause anxiety, either during use, or when withdrawing:

• Alcohol (Drinking)

  • Lowers inhibition ('Dutch courage'), but ends with hangxiety the next day - where the guilt or shame of 'who I was yesterday' can play a part

• Tobacco (Cigarettes)

  • Initially feels calming (think that 'first one of the day' feeling), but anxiety and irritation spikes once the nicotine wears off

• Stimulants

  • e.g. caffeine, cocaine, amphetamine ('speed' or 'base')
    Mimics anxiety symptoms i.e. racing heart, jitteriness, restlessness and can trigger the fight-or-flight response; this can be part of the 'rush' of coming up, but also evident in the comedown

• Sedatives

  • e.g. Benzodiazepines ('benzos'), such as Diazepam, Xanax, Valium
    Calming short-term, but can cause intense comedown-anxiety

• Cannabis / Marijuana

  • AKA 'Weed' i.e. THC
    Relaxing for some, panic-inducing for others - especially on withdrawal for regular or heavy smokers

• Hallucinogens

  • e.g. Psylocibin ('magic mushrooms'), LSD ('acid'), 2CB
    Can cause perceptual and emotional changes which can trigger panic i.e. 'a bad trip'

• Inhalants

  • e.g. Nitrous Oxide ('NOS' or 'laughing gas')
    When used at the dentist as a calming agent, it's mixed with oxygen. But recreationally it's used pure. This can create physical fight-or-flight symptoms which can trigger anxiety and panic. It can also cause a temporary loss of control, derealisation/depersonalisation, or just a 'bad trip' - all of which can trigger anxiety.

• Antidepressants

  • e.g. SSRIs and SNRIs, such as Fluoxetine (Prozac), Sertraline, Citalopram, Venlafaxine
    Paradoxically, antidepressants can actually increase anxiety during the on-boarding (initiation) process. Some people report feeling worse in the first two weeks before their body adjusts and stabilises (I certainly did). As a result, it's not uncommon for people to give up on them after 2 or 3 days rather than pushing through.

When used specifically to address anxiety, drugs and alcohol can seem like a 'magic pill' or 'painkiller'. But they often just mask it rather than resolve it, leading to reliance or addiction.

6 Cognitive Patterns and Mental Loops

Anxiety isn’t just about emotion - it’s about perception. The way you've learned to think about situations can either calm you down, or spin you out.

Below are some common 'Cognitive Distortions' associated with anxiety:

• Catastrophising

  • Thinking worst-case scenarios

• Mind reading

  • Believing you know what others think (often about negative judgement)

• Emotional reasoning

  • Proving fact through feeling ("I know it because I feel it")

• All-or-nothing / black-and-white thinking

  • “if I'm not perfect, I'm a failure". Also called ‘splitting’.

• Over-generalising

  • “This always happens", "I never get things right"

• Mental filtering

  • Focusing on the negatives whilst explaining-away the positives

• Pessimism

  • "When nothing will ever turn out well, ever" (often actually about personal capability)

• Sensitivity to negative feedback

  • Colloquially called being 'thin-skinned'. Also known as ‘personalising and blaming’.

These distortions are often symptomatic of a broader, unconscious perspective about how the person sees themselves and the world. As a result, they're usually automatic. So even self-aware people who 'know better' can get tricked by them when the anxiety ramps up.

Cognitive distortions can also cause a feedback loop - where negative thoughts drive higher anxiety, which drives more negative thoughts, etc.

7 Coping Mechanisms That Backfire

Like most problems humans face, we like to find solutions. And if anxiety is regular, we find ways to cope.

But as with alcohol and substances, some coping strategies relieve anxiety short-term, whilst actually creating bigger problems further down the line.

Here are some coping mechanisms which tend to reinforce anxiety:

• Avoidance

  • Strategy: "Avoiding what triggers anxiety means I don't feel anxious"
    Consequence: Discomfort is delayed, but reinforces the sense it's something you're unable to deal with - thus perpetuating the anxiety around it.

• Perfectionism (high self-expectation)

  • Strategy: "If I'm perfect then I won't be judged/rejected for my mistakes, so I won't get anxious"
    Consequence: The bar is set so high that any related activity can cause anxiety about fear of 'failure'. This can lead to avoidance i.e. a fear trying at all.

• Checking behaviours (as with OCD)

  • Strategy: "If I check (my phone, the lock) then I'll feel better and my anxiety will go away"
    Consequence: Checking the thing you're anxious about will usually bring initial relief since you've soothed the uncertainty. But it's often only a matter of time before it resumes. This creates a practised loop where checking keeps the anxiety alive (anxiety > check > relief > anxiety > check, etc.). In more chronic cases, the checking becomes a necessary ritual (i.e. a trap).

• Reassurance-seeking (a form of 'checking')

  • Strategy: "If someone else tells me it's (I'm) ok, then the I'll stop feeling anxious"
    Consequence: As with checking, the relief is often only temporary. So you ask more and more often. As assurance is being 'outsourced', it prevents building self-trust and self-confidence, hence anxiety persists.

• Suppression (compartmentalising)

  • Strategy: "I'm going to put this in a box and think about (deal with) it later"
    Consequence: Although a positive strategy when followed through with, frequent suppression can create the 'pressure cooker effect' i.e. it gets bottled up, never given proper attention, and eventually explodes. Cue anxiety meltdown.

• Impulsivity and Reactivity

  • Strategy: "If I react quickly then I'm dealing with it and the anxiety will go away quicker"
    Consequence: Reacting quickly and instinctively is crucial in life-threatening situations. But with more complex issues or chronic patterns it can function as avoidance of uncertainty and difficult feelings - so you never learn to understand or deal with the anxiety at its root.

• Rigidity and Inflexible Problem-Solving ('this is the only way')

  • Strategy: "I know exactly what this is and what I need to do - the only reason it hasn't worked yet is because [insert justification]"
    Consequence: Being certain about the issue and its solution gives certainty, which lowers anxiety. But often this 'knowing' is just another way to avoid the anxiety of uncertainty (and weakness). It prevents any out-of-the-box thinking, hence keeps you - and your anxiety - trapped.

• Denial

  • Strategy: "It's not really a problem, it's just [insert self-soothing justification]"
    Consequence: Lying to yourself about a problem or its effect can preserve self-esteem. But it avoids contact with the emotional reality of the situation. Sometimes the anxiety will manifest in other ways, such as nightmares, muscle tension, headaches, or blowing up at others (displacement). Toxic positivity can be a form of denial.

All of these patterns can make your world smaller. And in chronic cases, they teach your brain that everyday life is terrifying and unmanageable.

Sometimes the biggest fear with anxiety is the anxiety itself. It's the symptoms which become scary for one reason or another - not just the thing or the situation.

8 Perfectionism, Over-functioning, and Identity

Not all anxiety looks like shaking, stress, and panic. Some of it looks like well-crafted planning and prevention.

Here are some key anxiety-prevention patterns:

• Over-achievement

  • The golden boy or girl. Always having to be top-dog. Envy, and seeing peers as enemies, are common. As is avoidance of anything you might not immediately be great at.

• Chronic productivity

  • Constantly doing things, ticking things off, being efficient, etc. Feeling guilty for stopping or resting is common - especially if there are still things you could (or 'should') do. You may procrastinate important (uncomfortable) things by finding other tasks first e.g. reorganise your bookshelf, re-order the kitchen cupboards.

• Fear of slowing down

  • Always having to be busy and on-the-go. Similar to chronic productivity, stopping or resting often feels bad. Speed and busyness can keep you up in your head and focused outwards - strategically avoiding reflection on any difficult feelings and what they might reveal.

• Imposter syndrome

  • Feeling like a fraud, or like you'll be found out for being one. Where self-expectations are mismatched with reality, there's often anxiety about failing. For example, the new manager who feels they should already know all the answers, but is afraid to ask because they'll look like a newbie - so they blag, avoid, and pretend. Hence constantly feel anxious.

These patterns often begin as trauma adaptations - a way to stay safe (and loved) in the chaos of early life. Therefore, this type of anxiety is usually driven by shame.

Anxiety becomes the driver to achieve (earn) your self-worth and belonging. You may not even consciously feel scared - just motivated to push on. Until you crash-and-burn, that is. (And then the shame-spiral begins).

The problem with these patterns is that they're usually well-practised. And, as with other coping mechanisms, they actually work quite well - until they crack under pressure.

The key difference with these patterns vs. healthy coping is the attempt to bypass the anxiety rather than deal with it directly. So your safety-net actually becomes your prison.

9 Cultural and Social Pressures

Anxiety is shaped by your environment. And much of that is through the people and the customs around you.

Some common environmental factors in anxiety are:

• Social Rejection

  • e.g. bullying, humiliation, public shaming, peer group exclusion.
    These can instil a hypervigilance around judgement - the heart of social anxiety - especially if they happen early on e.g. childhood, in school. Online culture supercharges this pattern, particularly because of the disembodied communication (lack of connection) and how public the communication can be. Ultimately, this kind of anxiety is usually about shame and abandonment.

• Stoic Cultures (emotional suppression)

  • e.g. "big boys don't cry", "good girls don't get angry".

    Where emotions are perceived as weakness ('stiff upper lip'), so feelings become threatening - and therefore suppressed. And not just their expression, but merely having them is 'wrong'. This can lead to an inability to name or understand feelings (low emotional intelligence), and create layered and confusing 'emotional stacks' e.g. feel sad about a loss, and ashamed for being sad, and angry for not being stronger.

• Minorities and Marginalisation (Prejudice)

  • This includes those treated differently due to race, disability, sexuality, or poverty. Members of marginalised groups often experienced a chronic background anxiety through the hypervigilance of 'enemies' (by othering), and the self-image created by the situation e.g. "they treat me badly, so I must be bad". This can keep a person on high-alert, even when nothing is happening in the now.

• Comparison Culture

  • Comparing ourselves is normal. It's how we learn to navigate social systems, play by the rules, and even develop and improve. But too much is destructive. And modern western life - dominated by social media - subjects us to a daily barrage of carefully curated pictures and stories of others' achievements, opinions, bodies, and lifestyles. Which can push our not-enough buttons, creating an anxiety that we're less-than, behind, or doing things wrong in some way.

• Hyper-Choice (Analysis Paralysis)

  • A perk of modern western life is freedom of choice. With hundreds of brands, options, and versions of everything from groceries to cars to computers and even social media platforms. But too much choice can be overwhelming. Rather than an empowered choice, each decision can be a chance to fail or live in regret. This can cause indecision anxiety and FOMO (fear of missing out).

• Speed-and-Hustle Culture

  • A sibling of Comparison Culture. Where everything needs to be done quicker, better, and more efficiently. Such is the nature of western capitalism. The upside is progression. The downside is productivity becomes a symbol of self-worth, and resting or stopping is seen a guilt-inducing weakness. This can lead to pathological 'never-enough-ness', and a constant anxiety about staying on-the-ball.

• Living Alone (Social Isolation)

  • More and more people in the west are choosing to live alone. This brings autonomy and independence. But it can be at the cost of connection if there isn't enough actual face-time elsewhere e.g. at work, clubs, or hobbies. Humans need each other to co-regulate. So whilst being away from others can bring peace to an anxious mind, it can also increase anxiety - especially if underlying relational emotional issues are present.

Modern culture is, by its very nature, an anxiety-inducing one. Pressure to perform, improve, and compete - all whilst wearing the mask of 'being fine' - can easily send us into hypervigilant overdrive.

The most insidious thing about the social and cultural factors is that they can get 'programmed in' - especially when growing up within them. And in the same way humans don't notice the air around them, as fish don't really see the water - those factors can become invisible to us.

Sometimes there's nothing wrong with the first - it's just the pond's become toxic.

10 Existential Anxiety

Some anxiety is meaning-related.

You may feel anxious or uneasy because you’re disconnected. From yourself, your purpose, or your community.

This kind of anxiety can be subtle, or sit in the background. Like an ache or a yearning. It may show up as restlessness, boredom, or a quiet despair. In your quiet moments, you may find yourself asking "Why am I here?" or "What’s the point of all this?".

It can be a signal that something deeper is off-kilter.

Common situations that can provoke this kind of anxiety are:

• Retirement - especially if a person's job or career provided a lot of meaning, status, and connection

• When children leave home or no longer need their parents as much ('empty nest syndrome')

• Grief - such as the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or role/position

• Realising you've outgrown your current pond e.g. you and your partner have grown apart, your job has become stale

Broadly, all of these are about who a person is in the world. In days gone by, we might have called it an 'identity crisis'.

The anxiety is often about "who will I be without X?" or "who will I be now?"

NB: those who finally manage to kick an addiction often experience this kind of anxiety. Not just around the loss of their 'drug', but in their community e.g. realising their drinking buddies are just that - not close, loyal friends.

Conclusion: Why This Matters For You

Being anxious doesn't mean you're broken. It means your nervous system is doing the job it evolved to do - there may just be a disconnect that needs some investigation.

Understanding where your anxiety comes from can give you power. To name it. To meet it differently. And to stop blaming yourself for feeling unsafe in a world that may not have taught you how to feel safe within it.

You don’t have to map your whole nervous system before you can start feeling better. But the more you know and understand anxiety and how it shows up for you, the better equipped you'll be - and the less control it'll have over you.

Need help getting to the root of your anxiety? I offer counselling and hypnotherapy in Leighton Buzzard. Get in touch.