Why Your New Years' Resolutions Fail Miserably (And 4 Steps To Achieve Them)

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Hate New Years' Resolutions?

Me too.

It's not that I hate them, per se. But I never really saw the point.

"I'm FINALLY going to start doing that thing I've been putting off for years!"

No. No, you're probably not.

So why do we keep doing it to ourselves then?

The promise of change is great. A fresh start. Dopamine-fuelled newness and excitement. An end to all one's problems in the current context.

"I'm gonna start hitting the gym and lose this weight / get back in shape"

“Ima finally get control over my drinking / smoking / sniffing"

"This year I'm DEFINITELY going to look for a new job"

"I'm actually going to talk to someone about my mental health now"

"I really WILL leave my partner next time they lie  / cheat / throw me down the stairs"

As long as there's possibility, there's hope.

But hope isn't enough.

We need a sense of believable possibility to move forward. To keep going. Without it, "what's the bloody point?".

But hope alone often won't get you anywhere but maintaining the status quo.

Hope is absolutely necessary. But it's a terrible strategy.



Here's 4 STEPS you can take to set some New Years' Resolutions (or goals) you'll ACTUALLY achieve:

1 What do you actually want?

This may be an obvious step, but it's an important one. "I don't know!" is a common answer when I first ask clients.

Spend some time understanding both what you want, and why it's important to you.

2 What will that bring you?

The goal itself is rarely the goal. We often want something the goal will give us.

A gym membership might mean feeling good about your health and appearance. Cutting down on vices is often about freedom and control.

Look beyond the surface to tap into your real motivation and avoid toxic goals.

3 What's the smallest possible step you can take?

Inertia is a b1tch. The first step is always the hardest. So make it an easy one you can build on.

Don't start with a 5K run, start with a two-minute walk instead. Give your brain less to resist.

Check out the habit guru, James Clear, for more on habit-hacking.

4 Get connected, get involved

Most things are harder when trying to do them alone.

It's why people join running clubs and study groups. Why successful companies set up project teams. And why sportspeople and athletes have coaches.

Other people can help support and inspire us. They lighten the load.

Most importantly?

Do something different. Anything.

A step in any direction is still a step. And whatever the outcome, you'll be hard-pushed not to learn something.

It can only help when planning - and taking - your next step as you build momentum.

Looking to make a change that actually sticks?

 Change is harder than most would have you believe.

So, to make that bit easier, I'm offering 33% off all one-to-one sessions booked with me in January.

Just use the code 'JAN2024' when you book a session with me and pay £20 instead of the usual £30. Valid until 31JAN.