Wordsmyth: The Hypnotherapy Fallacy (What Doesn't Work And How Change Actually Happens)

"So where does the hypnotherapy bit come in?"

I'm often asked this question during my first conversation with a client.

I always explain I'm not a traditional hypnotherapist. I'm a Transformative Coach & Hypnotherapist. And I tend to work more conversationally and interactively.

For all intents and purposes, a session could seem like a normal conversation from the outside. Except with some weird questions and seemingly-bizarre tangents. But in a few cases, what they're referring to is something quite specific.

Namely, the bit where I say "and now close your eyes". As I begin to relax them deeply to that special place which grants me permission to say the magic words I've prepared which have their problems seamlessly dissolve and disappear so they can awaken miraculously transformed.

Now, I can only speak from personal experience and my model of the world. But here's how I see it:

That's not really how it works.

"But I thought hypnotherapy was about reprogramming the subconscious mind?"

Well, I used to think that too.

But that comes from a misunderstanding of how things actually are. Change doesn't come from certain sacred-and-specific words that hold an objective, transformative power. If it did, those certain words would have the same effect on everyone.

(If you've ever awoken tired and grumpy only to have someone's chirpily chimed "good morning!" send you even deeper into despair than you were before their poorly-timed upliftment attempt, then you'll get my point).

Whatever the modality, process, or technique is, change always comes from the same place. The only place change can ever come from:

Insight and realisation.

"Eh?"

Great question.

Have you ever read a line in a book that's hit you like a ton of bricks?

You may have been reading the book for a while. Enjoying it, sure. But then you read this one particular line or paragraph. And BANG. Something shifts for you in that moment.

That shift is a result of you seeing something you hadn't seen before. You joined some previously un-joined dots. Or you suddenly saw something that opens things up to a deeper, unexplored level. Either way, it was a shift in your understanding. A shift in your perception of reality.

That's an insight. Or a ping as I often call it. But here's the really interesting thing:

The ping doesn't happen because of the book. The ping happens because of what happens inside you after reading it.

"But I wouldn't have had the ping without the book, would I?"

You may be right. But have you ever tried to read the ping-line of a book to a friend, and then been completely flummoxed as to why it had nowhere near the same reality-bending, life-changing impact on them as it did you?

That's why it isn't the book.

Because if it was the book, surely everyone who read that line would have the exact same enlightening ping-experience you had, right? You did the seeing. You did the realising. The book didn't do any of that to or for you.

So a book, podcast, or even a well-oriented question may well facilitate an insight. But it's the insight that creates the change. And insights never come from an outside source.

Insights always come from within.

My job isn't to make people change. It's to help people make change.

So in my role as a Transformative Coach & Hypnotherapist, whether it's hypnotherapy, NLP, coaching, metaphor work, or some storytelling I'm using with a client, the aim is always the same: to help point them towards having their own insights and realisations about whatever it is they've been struggling with up until then.

In a way, I'm like the tour guide for their journey.

They tell me where they want to go. I check my map, and I lead the way the best I know how. And I can point out the various sights they want to see. But I can't make them see. They have to see for themselves.

Now, that doesn't mean we give up and let them get on with it if the first directional gesture still leaves them a bit lost and confused. That's where the different approaches and techniques come in. If this didn't work then we try that. It's a partnership. A process.

It's about working together to reach that moment where they say "ah, I see it now!".

Then they start to create their own map.

And of course, once we've seen something, it's really quite hard to un-see it, isn't it? Sure, we might lose sight of it at times. But it's much easier to find our way back. And after a while, we don't even need to check the map. Let alone have anyone else point it out to us.

We just know it's there.

So I call myself a Transformative Coach & Hypnotherapist. But only because it sounds somewhat more credible and sensible than 'Perceptual Reality-Shift Tour Guide' or 'Certified Ping Facilitator'. (At least for the time being).

(Struggling with something you’ve failed to get over until now? Transformative Coaching & Hypnotherapy in Leighton Buzzard can help you. Get in touch to learn how)