Change Of View: How Past Positives Can Keep You Running Back Instead Of Moving Forwards

We can become upset when a new estate goes up across the road. Destroying the view of the fields and cattle we had before.

We complain to family and friends. Co-workers. Post to online forums. We worry about the traffic. It's grown worse the last few years. It can only get even worse now.

We know it. We've seen it. We can see it again.

But the young kid who's now old enough to ride out on his bike, he doesn't remember the fields. All he knows is the view of houses from his window. All he knows is the longer car journey across town. He doesn't miss the view. He doesn't miss those extra minutes.

Memory and recall are useful. For learning. And happiness. We love to reminisce. Indulge in past positives. Relive better times. And this can bring hope. Of recreating. Or building on them. But it can also keep us stuck.

Because we cling.

We struggle with change. Especially when we didn't get to choose. To have our say. So we resist reality. "Change it back". Back to familiarity. Back to certainty.

Back to comfortable.

The record industry lost the war against digitised music. They fought it. But Apple adapted. And created iTunes. It took years for the industry to catch up. To look ahead instead of back. To work with the way the world had changed.

That young kid is lucky in a way. He has nothing to resist. Because he has nothing to cling to.

He's free to accept. And so to adapt. He knows to allow for a longer journey across town. Because it's all he's ever known. He even likes the new estate. Because his friends live there. And they all love the park.

It's not to say we should accept every proposed change. Some things are worth preserving. Worth fighting for. But sometimes the urge to cling prevents us accepting what's already in motion. And that stops us adapting. From looking outwards instead of in. Ahead instead of back.

The same world viewed through the lens of acceptance looks vastly different through the lens of fear. Some battles are worth fighting. And others only become that way when we pick up a sword.

(Struggling to accept some things, let go, and move on? Cognitive Hypnotherapy in Leighton Buzzard can help you. Get in touch to learn how).